How Stella Is Losing Her Groove Tonight.

So what is the next project?
I feel such a let down today.Son2 gets his wisdom teeth out this Friday so I need to rally and start to get my thoughts organized to take care of him.

College boy comes home Saturday for his break between work and school. I must put fresh sheets on his bed and lay out fresh towels and make his favorite foods. Before he even steps foot in the door I start to think of his leaving 9 days later. It’s like having a guest you never want to leave. I have to stop thinking of missing him before he even gets here. Why do I do this?

A week after that we drop off Son2 (the new college boy) at his respective home of higher education.

Then Mr. P.M. and I will share a long trip back home probably in silence if not in tears coming into an empty house with no children in it for the first time in 23 years. Son2 always trots down the stairs no matter what mood he is in. I will miss that sound, the one that lets me know his youthful exuberance is present. When he comes home for Thanksgiving will he be too mature to do this anymore? Are these remaining few weeks of summer the last time I will hear this? Should I put the Halloween decorations in the Goodwill bag?

Millions of parents face this.
We are not special.
It’s what I have always wanted ~
for my kids to experience college away from home.
It’s what I have prepared them for and told them I have the confidence in them to do whether or not I believe it when I’m saying it at that moment.
But I am not naive. It is never the same once they leave home.
Their room will look smaller than what they remember when they come back to visit and so will I.

“Bittersweet Symphony” – The Verve

Comments

  1. Oh, I have been where you are. It is such a sad | proud | glad moment. Now that mine are grown and have both graduated from college, they both live in other states. And why did they do that? Because I always told them that there was a wonderful world out there and they could do anything they set their minds to. What in the hell was I thinking? There is a certain amount of envy for the parents here whose children have chosen to stay close to home. But mine are happy and that makes me happy. I know what you mean about dreading when they leave before they get home. I understand!

    What you can do to fill your time is make cookies for my PD’s wedding πŸ˜‰ That would be a wonderful way to fill your time. hehe xoxo

  2. (((hugs)))

    I can’t begin to imagine how heavy your heart is right now, but can I just say I can’t wait to read your Thanksgiving post and how happy you will be?

  3. Hang in there!! Thanksgiving will be here in a flash!

  4. Enjoy your 9 days together with son1. Make some good memories and then after you drop off son2, make some new memories at this next stage of your life. Seriously. You need to start a side business selling cookies! That would keep your mind occupied! Good luck in the next days ahead. I know it will be tough…

  5. I love how P101 said it, she’s so right.
    It won’t be the same, but you won’t be “smaller” to them, the world is just bigger. Does that make sense?
    I agree that you must find something to do though. You would absolutely make a great party/wedding planner as Suzanne had suggested before. Give it a try! Or market your cookies, you already have 1 order from P101! πŸ˜‰

  6. This actually made me well up.

    Our son is only 2 but I remember how heart sick my Mom was when I left home and the house was so empty. My Dad said she used to go in my room and cry. We are super close, and now being a parent, I can understand.

  7. Even though I’ve already been through it with both of my children, your post made me cry.

    Honestly, it really never IS the same, but it’s even better. Now, when we all get together we just have so much fun. And no matter how small their rooms may seem to them, they are always happy to come home & sleep in their old beds. And eat Mom’s cooking.

    It’s a new stage of life because they become your friends as well as your children & yet still have their own lives. This is when hubby & I began to rediscover one another after all the years of running in opposite directions with kids.

    But I still cried my eyes out…

  8. P101 ~ I always learn from your gracious view on life. I don’t think Son1 will come home again. There are no ChemE. companies close by and although it makes my heart sink I see the out-of-state writing on the wall. I would love to mentor you through the cookie process. πŸ™‚

    Chelle & Frau ~ Oh gosh, that seems to far away. Son1 doesn’t even come home for that since it would be 2 days flying for 1 turkey dinner. I just hope Son2 will want to come back home then. Thanks for the encouragement to look ahead. πŸ™‚

    Pink & SJN ~ I actually have a family business I share with Mr. P.M. but it is not my passion nor interest. He always said he would have been very willing to be the ‘house husband’ but I don’t think one can live on cookie dough alone although I have thought about it many times because it is fun and a creative outlet for me. I do love planning parties and but wouldn’t even know where to begin to make contacts or how to secure clients. Maybe when I get more of my mojo back and adjust to this new transition in my life I’ll bounce the idea around a bit more. Thank you for the encouragement as well. πŸ™‚

    JennyMac ~ How nice of you to think about your mom. I can now understand my mom’s feelings more too. πŸ™‚

  9. Snooty ~ Is it bad to say I don’t want to reconnect with my husband today and that I just want my children to be little again? πŸ˜‰ I don’t like change and it takes me awhile to warm up to it but once it happens I adjust. I wonder if a vacay would help to get the ball rolling. Seems this month I am one sentimental thought away from the ugly cry. πŸ™‚

  10. Hugs! Your posts are always so good and remind me to cherish everyday with my boys (even the days they drive me crazy). Hugs!

  11. Thank you for the very nice compliment, Sherrie. You give those cute little guys a big hug and go out an get an ice cream tonight and take your camera along! πŸ™‚

  12. Aw! I just want to hug you! I always tear up when I tell my parents goodbye either when they’re dropping me off at school or I’m heading out the door to drive myself back the long 7 hours. But my grandpa and my little brother? They get me sobbing each time, brother because he’s so sweet (this is while sister is rearranging her room that I spent my time at home in) and grandpa because I realize how bad his health is.

    But yes, hugs for you!

  13. I just took my second daughter to college this week. My first one just went last year. Two children in two years…I feel your pain.