“The Great White Granny Panties” {GIVE-AWAY} ;)

And why not?
We need to take the white granny panties out of the closet and give them the respect they deserve!

I was in Nordstrom the other day buying some bridal specific panties for my niece who is having a shower this weekend. They’re new and blue and say “I do”. Cute, but I couldn’t imagine anything less comfortable than a thong so I asked the sales person who seemed my age, what is so appealing about wearing basically nothing against your clothes. She told me the panties were very comfortable and with them the panty lines wouldn’t show.

I told her panty lines were the least of my troubles back there and if someone was looking that hard I really wanted to give them something to look at. Besides, I like having something come between me and my Calvin’s.

Thongs came out after my ass’s heyday to which I am eternally grateful.
A French cut bikini was considered daring then but until I became pregnant with son1 I was a bikini gal all the way. I discovered, or should I say re-discovered white granny panties in the maternity section and I’ve never looked back in the rear view mirror. (Bad pun, sorry.)

My first introduction was when I was a little girl where I had the days of the week embroidered on them. I couldn’t wait until Friday. Who wouldn’t have fond memories of that and subconsciously want to reconnect? And by the way, Friday is still my favorite day of the week. I feel it holds the most promise.

I also believe I have the white granny panties to thank for my boys’ sudden desire to learn how to do their own laundry all the way back in middle school. One look at the granny panties co-mingling with their skivvies in the washing machine sealed the deal. This is a gift from me to you other moms out there. It works. Very well. I know therapy doesn’t come cheap but they can pay for that themselves when they get out of college and get a job.

My girlfriends and I talk about our how our husbands have a true disdain for white granny panties. Once in awhile my husband and I will get into a discussion where I try in vain to find what makes men tick. I know there isn’t a lot of depth to the answer but I ask anyway.

“What is it with you guys and the skimpy panties?”

He’s savvy this time around and appeals to my culinary nature.
“It’s like setting the table. You’re attracted to what’s on the plate if it’s presented more appetizingly.”

Now, I finally get it but what’s ‘on the plate’ is left-overs and it’s been on the menu for over 28 years.
Check, please!

On to…
“The Great White Granny Panties Give-Away”…

Are ya ready????

April’s Fool!
It’s a $20 Nordstrom gift card!

You really didn’t think I’d be giving away white granny panties, did you? πŸ™‚

Leave a comment to enter with an email. Simple. No fuss. Like the panties.

Give-away ends tonight. Midnight. Pacific.

The Give-Away has ended. Thanks for playing along!

Congratulations comment #8 – Kelly!

True Random Number Generator 8

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  1. Haha, love the story! I am in the same boat as you, I never understood why girls want to wear thongs! I prefer a *little* more coverage πŸ™‚

    Happy April Fool’s Day! I’m usually asleep by now, but I was up making cupcakes…stop by my blog tomorrow morning to see what I did! I thought they were pretty fun!

    I just walked through Nordstrom yesterday and found about 278.5 things I’d love to buy. Winning a gift card would be awesome!!

    My email is sweetteadiaries@gmail.com.

    Have a great weekend, friend!! xoxo

  2. Hahahaha. I read through this entire post thinking you were actually giving away granny panties and was wondering why? Now I know. I LOVE Nordstrom! My email address is whaleflipflops {@} gmail {.} com.

  3. You are too cute…I’m laughing out loud. What a great way to start the day πŸ™‚ So sweet of you to do this great giveaway! Happy April 1st!
    mcarson86(@)hotmail(.) com

  4. This was hilarious…a great way to start my day, may it be filled with lots of laughter! I especially thought the part about your sons sudden desire to do their own laundry in middle school was a riot…..having boys, could sooo see that happening. Great giveaway, love Nordstroms!

  5. So funny ~ love this post! The granny panty cookie is so cute πŸ™‚ Hope I win because I really need some new granny panties myself!

  6. Love this post too funny and I agree with you!My husband will occasionally buy a pair of less coverage and he calls them Party Panties. lol! Have a great weekend!

  7. Thank you for the hysterical start to my day! This is the best I’ve read in some time now. I’m SO with you on this topic my friend.

    Have a great weekend ~

  8. This was hilarious! I loved it πŸ˜€ Thanks for having a contest!

  9. Even bikini panties look like granny panties to me. (TMI?) Remember once my niece saw my preferred style when she was little and she nearly burst out laughing wondering where the rest of the fabric was.

    tokyoshoes (at) hotmail (dot) com

  10. I think we all have a pair or more in our drawers. πŸ™‚

    Good boy tip as a mom of 3 boys I appreciate it.


  11. You got me!!! lol … I actually thought it was going to be grannie shaped cookies withthe days of the week!!! … I especially loved your response .. and check please!!! Thanks for hosting such a fab give away and for the morning chuckle …xo HHL

  12. Great post! πŸ™‚

    ericaddobson at gmail dot com

  13. Thank you for making me laugh first thing this morning!!! Fantastic post ~ and Fabulous Giveaway! I’d love to take a little trip Nordstroms! Hope you have a wonderful day!
    Nancy xx πŸ˜€

  14. Oh your humor is fantabulous! I just enjoy reading your blog so much. Super April Fool’s give~away. Please accept a big THANK YOU from me!

    Mrs. Kindergarten

  15. OMG, you crack me up!!! Thank you for that Friday morning laugh! If it makes you feel better I’m in my (late) 20’s and when I got married I found semi-granny’s. I was sure I wanted something to cover my backside…all the way, yet be comfy and NOT show lines…I found the best pair at nordstrom and havent looked back! They are great! Hmmm…waht will I get if I win?! πŸ™‚ Have a great day! XO

  16. LOL! I’ve spent my entire life trying to keep my undied out of my a$$, thongs seem counterproductive.

  17. Have you ever thought about taking this “routine” on the road? Seriously, your material is side splitting!!

  18. Great post! I was buying into it the whole time, lol! Againes009@gmail.com.

    Have a great day! πŸ™‚

  19. hahah very nice! I was wondering where that was going…

  20. Oh, you are soooo funny! Best April Fool’s prank definitely goes to you!

  21. Love this post. Especially the “nothing comes between me and my calvins” reference.


  22. oh this post definitely made me laugh.

    i remember being a little girl in the department store with my mother and picking up a thong and asking what it was… my mother responded “that’s a self-inflicted wedgie, and only crazy ladies wear them!”

    that still makes me laugh!

  23. How funny. I am totally with you on the thong panties. I.Don’t.Get.It. Maybe I am just not smart enough. Your granny panty cookie made me laugh. Thanks

  24. That is funny! The whole time I was reading I was thinking “not many people are going to enter a giveaway for granny panties!”
    Love Nordstrom!

  25. You get me, man.

  26. I just discovered your blog and love your sense of humor. I was hoping the give away was the cookies not the panties, but a gift card is even better.

  27. I probably have a better chance to win if I type my email address correctly.

  28. So funny, and true. As a side note – you can market those cookies to little potty training girls. Emily made a a great panty cake for Elyse when we had her Panty Party to mark her farewell to diapers. Would have loved to have a weeks worth of the cookies to offer one as a reward at the end of a dry day. Darling!

  29. Squawking with laughter here. Hey, I’d say your cookies were on par with or better than a gift certificate:). Even if they were in the shape of Granny Panties.

  30. Too cute you are.
    What a great posting.

  31. You got me! Haha


  32. ohmygoodness – I laughed my way thru this hilarious post!!! thongs, ick. but, honestly, I think my hubs might divorce me if I wore white grannies – and that’s sayin’ a lot, cause he kinda likes me. a lot. πŸ˜‰

    I’m glad I got photos of the adorable marshmallow bunny you gave my son, because the only thing that slowed him down from gobbling it up after Tuesday lunch was the thought that it might make a cool giant shmore. πŸ™‚

  33. you got me! ha!!! i once did a panty-swap chain letter thing — and it was really fun!!! πŸ™‚
    But i’d much prefer the gift card please and thank you!!!


  34. when I saw the granny pantie cookie, I was so excited! I just knew we were going to win some of your awesome cookies! But a Nordstrom gift certificate would be good too. πŸ™‚

  35. What a great april fools giveaway!


  36. Too funny!! I was trying to imagine Anyone in the OC wearing Granny Panties!!

    I also do adore Nordstroms!

    Come and enter my Giveaway (something French Inspired) from the Zhush!!You will love it!

    Art by Karena

  37. Hilarious. Your boys and hubby need to be thankful that we don’t have to “hang out clothes outside anymore to dry.” πŸ˜‰ Count me in! I think it’s things like your cookies that have helped in my rebellion against the thong ;-)!! xoxo

  38. Love your sense of humor!

  39. Oh how you make me laugh!! You even made a cookie for this post. I hope you made extra for your girlfriends! I use to have the days of the week panties also–too funny! Hope your well. I’ve been out of the loop lately, but finally going down my list. Happy April and have a wonderful weekend!
    P.S. I love all of your cookie talent!

  40. That cookie does look good though, I mean besides the fact that it’s underwear…..I like Nordstroms more, lol….

    Thanks for doing the cute giveaway!!!


  41. Love your Granny panty cookie! cehollerbach@aol.com

  42. hahaha!! Soooo funny! Happy April Fools to you!! πŸ™‚ That pic was PERFECT!! πŸ™‚ Excited about the giveaway! πŸ™‚

  43. That’s the cutest cookie.

    I’m going admit something here. I take two showers a day, and sometimes wear granny panties to bed because I don’t want to dirty up my non-granny panties.

    I like hanky panky underwear, but they are kind of pricy per pop so I have to break out the c-section granny panties.

    My husband and I have a running joke that thongs will one day be “Granny panties” , and something skimpier will come out to replace thongs. I don’t look great in boy short panties, and they are all over the stores….so see what I mean……thong granny panties in 2020.

  44. ha ha ha – that is my favorite cookie to date! You are so clever!

    I just love Nordstroms and I’ve been slowly collecting small increment gift cards for a new pair of Revas – this would SO help my cause! =)

    kimmie @ fullcircleadv .com

  45. hhahahahaahhaahahh!!!!!! i LOVED this!!!! and TOTALLY fell for it!!! ahhahaahhaha =) ENTER ME! EMTER ME!!! xoxoxo

  46. Susan NC says:

    I actually wanted the white granny panties! But if I have to I guess I could make do with a Nordstrom’s gift card. Thanks for the give-away – and the laugh.

  47. That cookie just takes the cake! Too funny!

    jaynawallace @ gmail . com

  48. That was great.

  49. Haha… you got us! I’m with you on thonga thong thongs. Never tried one. I’ll be shopping with my girls and they’ll inevitably say, turn around Mom, I have a thong on. Happens every time! Ah, to be young!

  50. ha ha ha ha. Love the hubsters sense of humor too. That was great!

  51. Very funny! I am catching up with the blogs i follow…I love it here…I need to visit more often! pinkim from

  52. You SO had me going until the end. Shame on you, LOL!

  53. BUMMER. How the heck did I miss this. Probably as I had that big shower we were working on…darn.

  54. I know the giveaway is over but the comments are still open. I’m 66 – and sadly, I’m overweight in my senior years…but I’ve always loved nice lingerie. I liked bikini panties but panties started getting skimpier and skimpier and I never liked thongs. It was like having a permanent wedgie! I bought one pair and was so uncomfortable wearing them, they ended up in the garbage.